We spent the weekend in Dallas and it went SO well. It's not always easy taking a 1 and 3 year old from their natural habitat and expect them to behave (well) and sleep (well) but this was our best experience with traveling with the two girls. Ella slept in the portacrib, and Betsy slept with me, while Ben slept on the couch. Don't feel so sorry for Ben, he didn't mind getting his own space to sleep away from space-heater-Betsy.
The girls had a GREAT time with cousin Abby, and we ate at wonderful restaurants, they played on Abby's super fun jungle gym, ran around in matching dresses, read books together, watched Curious George and did other 'cousin things' that left them all so sad to part after three days.
Speaking of our departure, we discovered we had LOST our last two ninnies that morning and we decided to take advantage of this opportunity to ditch it for good. Last night was....traumatic. Betsy was not a happy camper, but if it was the worst of the withdrawals then I think we can come out of this alive. It's easy to say that as she wanted nothing to do with me last night, Ben was the only one who could make her feel a wee bit better (not minding the 'daddy's girl' thing right about now. Bets woke up happy though I am sure she'll be beat when we pick her up today, she didn't sleep well and wouldn't nap without her ninnie. Fingers crossed tonight goes smoother!
And ELLA's big news is that she went for a hearing test. She 'failed' one ear, they found fluid in both ears, and with her history of ear infections they quickly got us in for a follow up with ENT (this morning) and in two weeks she'll have her tubes. I have the feeling Ella will be a blabber mouth in about 2.5 weeks. She tries so hard to talk but I'm thinking her stuffy ears have been holding her back. We've also vowed to finish taking Ella off the bottle as soon as she gets her tubes. She really only gets one before nap and bed, but I'm ready to be done with that too.
That's about all for us at the moment! Ben has three more regular season games before the post-season starts for soccer. I'm working on getting our house organized, and continuing the 'mission to eliminate carpet from the Bralley home, one room at a time'. I think next week we'll be installing more new flooring, and I'm thrilled to pieces about that.
We're enjoying our health, and our family time right now :)
Monday, March 19, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
That moment
I'm sure this is normal for someone with a chronic illness, but I go back and forth feeling so grateful that I'm here with my family, to anger that I'm going through this, to sadness that my kids can tell something is wrong, and guilt that I can't give them all the energy I used to. This may sound melodramatic but bear with me.
When I spent Christmas in the hospital I felt really sad. I felt so alone, and I had moments of despair thinking "Why me? Why am I away from my family?" I had this one mental picture of where I would be soon: back in my home, in my bed, with my husband, and my girls. All snuggled up together. Watching a movie. It seems like such a small thing but when I wanted to cry I would close my eyes and picture that moment, because those moments are the most peaceful in the Bralley house.
I often didn't allow myself to be fully 'in the moment' as I was trying to do ten things at once at night, or in the morning, and something so simple as snuggling my girls might not get my full attention. But lately it has been getting my full attention.
I'm sure I've said this before, but there was nothing so terrifying as wondering IF I would be back with my family. And if I would be able to SEE my children. So lately if we're snuggling in bed I try to take just a few minutes to put down my Kindle, face my babies and watch them (usually while they watch Harry Potter). Betsy likes to snuggle her head into my shoulder. Ella prefers a full frontal assault of the 'human blanket' on Mommy. I really take in the moment of how they smell, and look and how their hair feels. I really, really love those moments.
I love those moments so much I stayed in bed 25 minutes late to have extra Betsy snuggles this morning. It was worth it.
When I spent Christmas in the hospital I felt really sad. I felt so alone, and I had moments of despair thinking "Why me? Why am I away from my family?" I had this one mental picture of where I would be soon: back in my home, in my bed, with my husband, and my girls. All snuggled up together. Watching a movie. It seems like such a small thing but when I wanted to cry I would close my eyes and picture that moment, because those moments are the most peaceful in the Bralley house.
I often didn't allow myself to be fully 'in the moment' as I was trying to do ten things at once at night, or in the morning, and something so simple as snuggling my girls might not get my full attention. But lately it has been getting my full attention.
I'm sure I've said this before, but there was nothing so terrifying as wondering IF I would be back with my family. And if I would be able to SEE my children. So lately if we're snuggling in bed I try to take just a few minutes to put down my Kindle, face my babies and watch them (usually while they watch Harry Potter). Betsy likes to snuggle her head into my shoulder. Ella prefers a full frontal assault of the 'human blanket' on Mommy. I really take in the moment of how they smell, and look and how their hair feels. I really, really love those moments.
I love those moments so much I stayed in bed 25 minutes late to have extra Betsy snuggles this morning. It was worth it.
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